The Rumpkin

thingiverse

The Rumpkin stands at an intimidating height of 3' 5" and is gripped by an insatiable addiction to beets, turnips, and mole-related pornography. His once-handsome face now bears the scars of his downward spiral from the Surface World to a life of debauchery. Unfortunately, his hands have grown grotesquely large, causing him to stand out in an awkward way. After succumbing to the allure of highly addictive root vegetables, he lost his foot in a tragic accident behind a beet-addiction rehab center when his giant hands couldn't complete a paid service for another addict. Since then, he has harbored deep-seated hatred against humanity and now resides underground with the despised Mole People as the loyal right-hand man of the detestable Mole King. The Rumpkin cruises through the Mole Kingdom on a sleigh pulled by a team of naked mole rats. He loves to surprise unsuspecting victims with his twerking skills, which he often follows up with stealing their beets and turnips to cook into his favorite dish - a revolting bowl of room-temperature Rumpkin stew. Not included in this description are his creepy peepers, used for scoping out hot mole-babes, his trendy wife-beater shirt, or his belt and belly button (you'll have to draw those on with a marker yourself).