Space Zombies Payed Ones

cults3d

Before the Shy King ordered his forces take a break from conquering the galaxy and have a long, deserving nap, a few of the more financially prudent Space Zombies had an idea. Their financial backgrounds varied widely: some made their fortunes through savvy real estate decisions, others in trades of precious stones, and still others through means ones would be hard-pressed to classify as legal, or even sane. But despite their differences, they all agreed that it wouldn't do them any good if their money just sat there doing nothing while they slept through the millennia. So they pooled their earnings and invested in stocks (with values pegged to the total biomass volume of the up-and-coming "Homo Sapiens" species), bought a few promising lots of galactic real estate, and stuck a sizable portion of the remains into monthly compound interest accounts at the First Galactic Space Bank. 80 million years later, when they woke up, they found themselves sitting on some seriously big bucks. I'm talking Mad Money. I'm talking Hella Skrilla. I'm talking PAYOLA Know what I'm sayin'? Their wealth grew so catastrophically ginormous that it created an alternate dimension to which only beings as wealthy as they have access, which suits them just fine, as they are now too rich to mingle with the lower sorts. The Payed Ones, as they came to be known, attack their enemies by teleporting from their One-Percent-Dimensional realm directly into the battlefield and flashing fat stacks of red hot dolla dolla bills at the enemy, who then drop dead of jealousy or flee the battlefield to check on their paltry stock portfolios. When the battle is over, the Payed Ones return to their mindbogglingly-expensive space mansions, much to the relief of the rest of the Space Zombies, as their presence tends to ignite annoyingly heated political discussions that go on for generations. Many beings throughout the galaxy fear the Space Zombies, whether it be for their superior technology, relentless perseverance, or exquisite taste in bone-based vehicles, but none spark primal fear into the hearts of other species like these masters of the lost art of Galactic Economic Warfare. Because everyone knows that at the end of the day, no matter how many accolades they earn in battle, no matter how many enemies they crush beneath their boots, they will never, ever be as rich as the Payed Ones.