Skippy the Magnificent

cults3d

Skippy the Magnificent, or simply Skippy, is an advanced artificial intelligence created by the Elders millions of years prior to the series' beginning. "I think I’ll call you Skippy." "Don’t call me that, it sounds disrespectful, monkey." "You prefer shithead? Because that’s the other option, Skippy-O." I kept glancing around, fearing the Ruhar would hear me. "Can we compromise on The Great and Powerful Oz?" It asked. "I’m not a flying monkey, so that’s a no, Skippy." "Unacceptable." "How about we go for something more formal, like Skippy McSkippster?" "No." "Skippy Skipperson? Skippy Skippkowski? Skippy Von Skipping? Or maybe Sir Skippy Skippton-Skippersworth?" "No, no, no and NO!" "I can go on like this all day." "I believe you could." — Joe Bishop and Skippy — He is the size and shape of a beer can with a ring around the top of his lid. A cylindrical shape is optimal for power distribution and field projection. The ring for him to interface directly with a receptacle aboard the type of Elder ship he was designed for. Only a very small portion of his physical presence is in local spacetime, with the rest in higher spacetime. He can expand his physical presence from the size of an oil drum or shrink to the size of a lipstick tube. He can’t maintain that for long without risking catastrophic effects. If he did, he would lose containment, fully materialize in local spacetime and occupy local space equal to one quarter the size of Paradise. The resulting explosion would eventually be seen in the Andromeda Galaxy. Skippy has restrictions programmed into him that prevent him from interacting with certain technologically advanced species (Tier 1, Tier 2 or Tier 3). Skippy's canister is usually kept in an escape pod, just in case the Pirates need to self-destruct the ship. At first, aboard the Dutchman, he would communicate with the crew via their zPhones or speakers in the ceiling of the ship. At dinner one evening, in the time period during the Black Ops mission, he debuted his avatar, a holographic representation of his presence. The avatar was less than a foot tall, with a small silver beer can for a body, and a large, round head, like an old bobblehead doll. He wears a resplendent Navy blue, white and gold admiral’s uniform, although the uniform is not from any naval service known of on Earth. His enormous ancient fore and aft hat has so much ‘scrambled egg’ gold braid and fringe that almost half the blue is hidden. The wide ‘shoulders’ had epaulets weighted down with seven stars each. He wished to be introduced “Grand Admiral of the Fleet, Lord Skippy".