SELF DEFENSE SPORK!!1!

thingiverse

Sitting on a park bench, you're eating cold mac and cheese from a Tupperware container, pondering why a Master's degree in Liberal Studies seemed like a good idea. Suddenly, a disheveled man approaches, demanding your lunch money. You retort that you have none, offering instead to discuss modern manufacturing technology's impact on abstract art. The hobo is unimpressed, and a fierce battle ensues - one as old as time itself. This fight ponders the human desire for self-destruction and empire collapse. Afterward, you show off your sharp self-defense spork, reminding users to be cautious and not sharpen it on cellroom floors. Instructions include printing and using aggressively against lunch-stealing coworkers.