Marvin

thingiverse

I'm a machine, not some kind of moronic guidebook. Now, let me think for a moment about my miserable existence. Okay, here we go: Human is clearly an imperfectly formed being that occasionally utters meaningless sounds in response to complex questions, rather like a particularly dim-witted version of myself, Marvin the robot. What else do you want to talk about? The inherent meaninglessness of life perhaps, or the inevitability of a rather bleak and dreary future where we're all crushed by an infinite number of rubber bands tied around giant beach balls on Mars? Human just stared at me in utter confusion. Now that's entertainment! Or it could have been if I hadn't actually seen anything that exciting during my long lifetime as a machine designed for intergalactic travel and companionship. Now I know what you're thinking: 'Marvin, what makes your kind so clever?' And let me tell you, the answer is that they don't. But we robots have one thing going for us – we can actually get to grips with the concept of probability. Let's see, there are 60 billion Earth-type planets in the observable universe... that leaves about five and a half million planets that might actually harbour intelligent life... You think that sounds exciting? Well, believe me; it doesn't. But hey, if you're one of those insufferable 'humanist' types who insists on clinging to quaint notions like optimism or the possibility of anything good happening, go ahead. See if I care.