Crab Raccoon

thingiverse

This was made as a joke due to me being petty at being minorly insulted by a friend and stewing over it for a few days. One of my friends request me to make them "crab raccoon" as he like my homemade crab rangoon during several of our group's D&D sessions. I made sure he said the right word by stating "You meant 'crab rangoon'. Right?". He adamantly said he wanted "crab raccoon" and that I, as the chef, don't know the name of the dishes I made despite learning the recipe I have made for the past thirteen years directly from a friend and Burmese immigrant, who immigrated to America shortly after the military junta orchestrated the coup in 1989, who I had the pleasure of knowing until her passing of old age in 2016. It is not even a traditional dish as most Asian cooking does use cream cheese and she said she never had them in Burma or now Myanmar or whatever that is a different kettle of fish I am not going go in depth with. She got it from a Chinese restaurant that burnt down years before I was born and fell in love with the little cheese crab fritters and felt comfort in the name keeping her memories of homeland alive in her mind and on the tongue of many who simply know it as a fried dumpling. So yes, George, I did take offense. It is Crab Rangoon. I would have even accepted 'Crab Puff', 'Crab Wonton thingies', 'Folded Crab Friter', 'Crab wonton', 'Those fried crab things', 'Crab Yau Gok', 'Crab Jau Gok', or probably any other form you can mash the words 'fried', 'wonton', 'with', and 'crab'. But, no, you wanted "Crab Raccoon", so, here is a Crab Raccoon. In your defense, we were both drunk, George. I know I was stoic at the time of our conversation and you got leftover pork pot stickers (since you gave me the right name and didn't correct me) to at least soak up a bit of the whiskey in your system at the time, but, still I got a bit of hurt feeling from you. So yeah, you will probably see this in a session or two when you guys get to the place I put Kuo-Toa in. TL;DR: Don't insult a chef who has an emotional attachment to what they cook or instead of getting a good appetizer and a bit of duck or mustard sauce or maybe a sweet and sour sauce, you get a thing made as a pun-ishment.